January 29, 2022 - The Grief Journey

Grief Landmines and Emotion Explosions

(This post is slightly revised from one I shared earlier.)

I saw a picture on a Facebook page recently that attempted to show the heart of a person walking through grief, I could identify with most of the topics they shared. Every journey is different and everyone’s grief is different but similar. Grief doesn’t just end one day. I’m discovering that life has a way of growing around grief, when it is allowed to.

I found that as my heart and journey may resonate with many of the thoughts shared, I would add more of what they called “grief landmines” and what I am calling “emotion explosions.” It may sound a little violent for some, but the grief journey is not one of peace or ease. We may not have the words to express our feelings or be comfortable sharing what we are really experiencing, however we need to find ways to express what is going on in our hearts, for our benefit and the benefit of others. So I continue to share for my benefit and those that are comfortable reading it.

Just when you feel the journey may be getting a little easier, you hit one of these grief landmines; they may not seem like a big deal for anyone else but for you an explosion of emotions is released. Recently as I was going through “stuff,” purging, or whatever you may want to call it. The box I was in was full of items Shari had saved from our sons’ school years, old projects, report cards, etc. Both sons said they weren’t interested in them, to throw it all out. As I sifted through the pages and projects, I found a couple of pictures that I pulled out to keep and then there is this box inside the big box, buried under old school projects and report cards. I causally and unsuspectingly opened the box and discovered our wedding cake topper and Shari’s silk flower wedding bouquet…and BOOM!!! Yeah, an explosion of emotions!!! Why in this box? I can only chuckle as I write these words, “Why in this box?” There was definitely no laughing about it that day.

There are times when things creep up on you in this journey when you least expect it. Then there are the times that you know the landmine is there, you are ready for the explosion and you know you just have to get through it the best you can.

Earlier this week I tackled a task I had been avoiding as long as I could. Again, it may not seem like a big deal, but it was for me. My bio needed to be rewritten or revised for the church website. Revising it was like hitting the “delete” key on the computer keyboard, in fact that’s what was required to remove Shari’s name and contact info from what had been our bio. There are these landmines that have to be navigated as we move forward with life. My heart knows that Shari will never be “deleted,”. But there are times that my brain just can’t comprehend it all and for me those are the times that the emotions explode.

How about you? What kind of landmines have you experienced? Please feel free to share in the comments below so we can all learn and journey together. I will also be posting this on the new Facebook page I have started The Grief Journey, you can follow the conversation there too.

As always thanks for reading, for your prayers and support, and most of all for your friendship and love. Blessings to you my dear friend!

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