October 4, 2022 - Walk Through Grief

This journey through grief is one I am told never ends.

When you choose to love, you will face grief, we were created by God to love and be loved. The loss of a loved one is not the only source of grief. We all face loss, some seasons more than others, and we all face grief.

As I approach the one-year mark of Shari’s death, (October 7) I cannot call it an “anniversary,” anniversaries are supposed to be happy occasions, and I am not there. Truth be told, it is a time of great challenge and difficulty. My mind is filled with flashbacks of what we were faced with a year ago. Conversations with doctors and nurses, nearly sleepless nights, healthcare decisions, the sight of the person you had spent forty years living an incredible life with now dependent on a ventilator to breathe and hooked up to more tubes and wires than I had ever seen…It all seems like just yesterday, so it is hard to think of it as an “anniversary.”

Yeah, I know all the clichés we offer to those who grieve, trust me, none of them offer any true solace to the heart of the griever. What we do appreciate is your willingness to sit with us as we weep, still, after a year, ten years twenty years, or more. We appreciate your prayers, your love, and your support, even when you don’t understand, someday you will and we will be there for you.

It may look like we have moved on and have life together again, but understand one never moves on from grief, we move through it as we move forward, but never move on. The person we lost will always hold a place in our hearts that will always belong to them, so we don’t move on, we just learn to live with the pain, sometimes the pain still comes out as tears.

When we tell you we are “fine” or “okay,” understand we know we are not, but we are okay with being the way we are, we are going to keep moving forward, living life the best we can, even if it means we walk with a limp now.

I was told by many that these would be difficult days, thanks for the advice. For those on the journey, keep walking, we are told by others farther on the journey that the road doesn’t end, it gets easier. I am walking by faith. For those walking with us, stay with us, we may need you as much today as ever, and you will never know how much your presence means to us.

Thanks for your support and love for all of us on the walk-through grief.

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