October 9, 2022 - Expectation and Anticipation!

I went to bed the night of October 6 dreading the next day,

October 7, one year after the death of my wife Shari. I awakened that morning with joy in my heart and a song in my mouth, not what I had anticipated.

It was going to be a busy day, filled with interactions with people most of the day. I was attending our distinct leader’s conference and would be surrounded by people whom Shari and I have known for many years. During a late morning meeting, many of these longtime friends and colleagues asked if they could pray for me, and pray they did. There was a special release that took place during that prayer time. A release that I believe, is ushering in a new season of life and ministry. I don’t understand it all, but in time I will.

There were a few moments of emotional intensity on October 7, 2022, particularly late afternoon and early evening as I remembered the timing of Shari’s removal from the ventilator at 3:45 pm and almost exactly 2 hours later when she took her last breath looking into my eyes, and then she was looking into the eyes of Jesus.

I don’t expect life to change dramatically overnight, but it has changed dramatically over the last year. For those on the grief journey each milestone passed provides a sense of “survival” and “victory.”

For those that are wondering, I’m “okay;” what I mean is that I know where I am on this journey, and I am okay with where l am at. I am thankful that my anticipation and expectations were not met Friday. I look forward to the future God has for me with a renewed sense of anticipation and expectation, not dread. I am okay.

Of course, being at the beach and fishing for the next two weeks makes it all a little bit easier. Fish pics to come!

Blessings to all!!!

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