December 15, 2021 - The Grief Journey

What to keep, and what do you not keep?

I have shared previously about feeling like a part of my journey through grief, (or maybe it should be called “journey with grief” as it seems to be a constant companion) was the feeling of “untwining” the life Shari and I had built together for almost forty years.

One of the challenges we will face is dealing with the belongings that they or we had. What do I keep? What do I give away? To whom do I give what? What do I throw away? Why did my loved one keep this? Am I somehow dishonoring them by getting rid of something? Will keeping something help or hinder my grief journey? What will others think about my decision?

First off, each of us need to do what’s best for us and for our family. There is no right or wrong. I am grateful for my son’s support as they have encouraged and supported me to do what I need to do. Parts of this have been very difficult for me. I hold on to some things but others I am quick to let go of. Shari had a tendency to keep almost everything. I think she kept every greeting card either of us had ever received. Each drawer, box or container I open has the potential to stir an array of emotions. I’m not trying to erase any memories or remove the reminders of her incredible life. But what I don’t deal with now will have to be dealt with by me later, or by my sons when my time to depart this world comes. I have to admit, many tears have been shed through this process and it’s not finished.

Of course, not all of the memories and emotional responses have been difficult. I have been reminded of times of fun, adventure, meaningful relationships, wonderful seasons of life and so much more.

Each reminder is of an incredible life we built together, experiencing many amazing blessings from God and wonderful people along the way.

This life isn’t over, it has entered a new season. My trash cans and recycle bin may overflow, but so does my heart as it runs over with gratitude for God’s incredible blessings and getting to do so much life with Shari.

We are all on this journey we call life, it takes twists and turns that we sometime see coming and others that catch us totally off guard; through every twist, turn, mountain and valley, the Lord is with us, seeing us through, molding, shaping and transforming our lives as we fulfill His plans and purposes. Keep walking, even when you don’t feel like it, even when you are tired and worn out and even when you feel all hope is gone. Keep moving forward, God has you and He has this challenge that you are currently facing. His promises still stand and He is not finished with you.

As always, with much love and appreciation!!!

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