February 11, 2022 - The Grief Journey

Just when you feel that you are making progress on this journey,

WHAM! A blindside.

I guess the nature of the word blindside communicates that, “you never saw it coming.” Yesterday I started with a study group via Zoom, since it was the first session we had introductions, everyone shared a brief intro; family, ministry, location, etc. the only person I knew in the group was the leader. As the group members shared, I could feel the emotions start to roll and was dreading “my time.” That time came and I struggled through it, concluding that I had been recently widowed. I had not anticipated how difficult that would be emotionally to share with a group of people I didn’t know. The “lid” was off and the emotions continue to roll and the tears flow 24 hours later.

In the last 24 hours I have cried a bucketful of tears, gotten maybe as angry as I have ever been - my poor recycle bin may have gotten the worst of it, told God what I think of His plan and even expressed my anger towards Him. Before you step back in anticipation of me getting struck by lightning, God can deal with my emotions, yours too. He created us as emotional beings capable of love, grief, fear, peace, anger, hope and a multitude of other emotions. If you don’t believe me, read a few of David’s Psalms paying attention to his emotional rampages.

This journey is challenging and difficult and just because someone seems to be navigating it well, it doesn’t mean that they don’t face struggles, setbacks and a lifetime of emotions. If you are grieving, keep moving forward. We “walk through the valley of the shadow of death,” we can’t speed through our journey nor can we afford to build a house or even pitch a tent there, we must keep walking. If you have a friend that is grieving continue to walk with them, no matter how long it takes, they need friends like you, we need friends like you.

I’m not okay, but that is okay, but I won’t stop walking, no matter how difficult the journey!

I am not sharing this looking for sympathy or attention. My hope is that as I share my journey that it will help others on their journey realize that we are not in this alone and for those friends who choose to walk this road with us to understand what it is that we face. It is real, it is challenging and it is difficult, more than I ever could have imagined. So as always, thanks for reading and for your support for me, and for the multitude of people that are walking out their own grief journey. Blessings to all!!!

P.S. - the study group was the best part of my day yesterday!!!

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