February 28, 2022 - The Grief Journey

The grief journey and roller coasters, what do they have in common?

My answer, lots of ups and downs twist and turns, that’s what they have in common.

I am a few days away from the five-month mark of Shari’s passing, (six counting her 28 day hospital stay) and the start of this grief journey. As I have shared my journey, many of you have experienced the ups and downs, the twist and turns with me. Thanks for hanging on with me.

As I travel this road there are days that seem to have fewer ups and downs and less twists and turns. There are days that I experience a growing new peace and contentment knowing that God is directing my steps and his purposes and His plans are yet to be fulfilled in my life. There are days that words are difficult to find to describe the growing peace in my heart and spirit. Recently sharing with a friend, who is on their own grief journey, I was struggling to find the words to express what I was feeling. As I listened to their story and their progress on this journey, they used the word peace. My response was that’s the word I was trying to find. As I said some days the words just escape me.

The "moving forward" and "moving on" mean two different things to me during this season. I’ve often been told, when talking to people dealing with grief, especially the grief of the loss of a loved one, that you don’t get over it, you get through it. I wonder if that’s like walking through the valley of the shadow of death? Eventually you get out of the valley, but you will always walk differently as a result of walking through the valley of the shadow of death, your life will never be the same, but it can be good, it can even be better (see the outcome from the life of Job) because of the goodness of our God and his promises for our lives.

I have learned a lot in this wonderful life I been privileged to live, for the most part it’s been a pain-free life, however during these last six months I’ve dealt with a fair share of pain and grief. I don’t mean to be complaining or whining, it is my reality. I’ve been reminded time and time again of the great faithfulness of God. I’ve been reminded that God is a Promise Maker and a Promise Keeper and just as He has been faithful in the past, He will be faithful in the future. Therefore, I continue to put my trust in Him day by day.

The roller coaster of the grief journey over the last few days seems to be leveling out, at least since the cedar mulch incident, the ups and downs are not as steep, and the twists and turns seem less extreme. But only God knows what today holds.

I’m sure there will be more twists and turns and ups and downs in the days, weeks, months and years to come. But I know God’s grace will always be sufficient through every peak, in every valley, every curve and every twist.

I am also learning that grief isn’t all negative, it’s not all weeping and wailing; it is a gift God has provided for us to process the pain of loss in our lives. As a friend shared with me recently about his own discovery about grief, this gift helps us process our transition from the past to the present and navigate to our future.

Blessings to you all my friends!!!

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