March 20, 2022 - The Grief Journey

So, you feel like you have lost it; that you are crazy, weird, abnormal, that you should be “doing better by now?”

…Join the crowd of grieving people, most of us aren’t comfortable talking about it, but the struggle is real. To be honest, I’m not comfortable talking about it either. My biggest concern is that people think I’m broken, or too emotional, refusing to let go, or they just don’t know what to say or do…that’s okay, because neither do I.

Unless you have traveled this journey personally, you may not understand it. I realize I am still very much a “newbie” on this walk-through grief, but from what I am experiencing and more importantly learning from others who are much farther on their grief journey, there is no end to this road in this life. I don’t want to be negative, or sound dire with all doom and gloom, grief has now become our expression of love for the one (or what) we have lost.

There is no time limit, no expiration date and no end to our grief as long as we are in this world.

Yes, I know Jesus helps me through it and brings healing and wholeness, I wonder where I would be if it weren’t for Him carrying me on this journey.

That doesn’t mean there is no hope, we have hope and it grows every day, although some days it is the tiniest of glimmers, but it is hope nonetheless. I am five months plus on this journey and many days are easier than others, the hard days seems to come a little farther apart, and instead of days they are usually more like moments of struggle. With the passing of each month, special days, holidays and memories that made our life together rich, come reminders of the great life we shared, but also the reminder that our loved one will not be a part of our future.

Though tears still flow, very freely and at times unexpectedly, life continues and is growing around the grief. I don’t have an expectation that the grief will end, it will become part of who I am and who I am becoming.

So, for my friends walking through grief, don’t put yourself down because you still feel the pain, continue to walk and allow God to birth His purpose in you. To friends that are walking with us on this journey, know that we are okay, even though you know we are not okay, we realize it too. Yes, what a contradiction. We are rather messed up; it is the way of grief. So don’t leave us, we are all in this together. We are all doing the best we can as we travel this road that none have chosen.

Be blessed my friends!!!

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