April 18, 2022 - The Perfect Storm

“The Perfect Storm” was the name of a popular movie in 2000 starring George Clooney.

It’s the story of a fishing boat while off the coast of New England was caught up in the convergence of multiple weather events, The Perfect Storm, that resulted in the boat and its crew being lost at sea.

The term is often used to describe a challenging situation involving a convergence of lesser challenges that together form a major obstacle, like a devastating storm.

I have discovered on this grief journey that there are multiple triggers that cause an emotional response; a fleeting memory, a smell, a picture, a song, someone sharing a fond memory or sometimes someone sharing a comment that may be well intentioned but accentuates the pain, and many, many more. It is impossible to be on guard against every trigger. There are times that you anticipate the emotions and then some come out of nowhere and are totally unexpected, like leaving the ball field, remembering this is something we did together.

Last week I experienced what I called “a perfect storm.” In addition to daily struggles and the pressures and demands of life, Thursday, April 7 marked six months since Shari’s death, then Saturday, April 9th was her 60th birthday, finally Monday, April 11, was my birthday and then a few days later it’s Easter weekend which came with its own memories and emotions. The Saturday of Shari’s birthday was maybe the second most difficult day of my life; I have described it as “brutal.” None of those days were of my planning and I realize that they will be the same dates each year for the rest of my life. A dear friend suggested that I plan for these difficult days, I did and am grateful for their wise advice. Thanks to those who reached out during those difficult days. I don’t share this for sympathy, but to remind those on this grief journey to be aware of those “special” days that will evoke strong emotions and for those walking with a friend on their journey, be aware and be sensitive as together we weather every storm, even the “perfect ones.”

By the way, I survived it and as with most of my posts, I am sharing about it past the day I experienced the challenge. I’m still moving forward at my own pace, even on the most difficult days.

Blessings to all!

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