June 4, 2022 - The Grief Journey

June 4, four days into a new month, I know, that’s not new news. For me on this grief journey, marking another month off of this first year is a   Big deal!!!

April and May have been pretty demanding months emotionally for me, and I have to admit I am glad they are over, but I also have this sense of accomplishment, like “I made it!” It may not seem like a big deal to others, but when you are on this journey each day, week, month, special event, holiday, birthday, etc. is potentially filled with emotional triggers. Walking through them is a big deal. For me, June 4 was a date I had circled on the calendar in my mind. Because when I made it to June 4 it would mean I had made it through a series of dates and special events that were filled with those potential emotional triggers.

Here are a few of them…

  • The 6-month mark of Shari’s death (4/7)
  • Her 60th birthday, (4/9)
  • My 61st birthday (4/11)
  • Easter
  • Mother’s Day
  • The completion of The Grief Recovery Method group I had been a part of
  • The family vacation to Orlando that was Shari’s dream vacation
  • Our 38th wedding anniversary (5/26)
  • Our denomination’s annual convention at which I connected with many friends that I hadn’t seen since Shari’s death. There were many conversations and tears, a beautiful tribute to our ministers who had died since our last convention three years ago, which included Shari. I knew I would encounter someone who had not heard about Shari’s death, and I did the first night. It was someone who knew her before I did, and asked about her. But it was okay, they had also lost a spouse several years ago and had the same experience. We cried together and rejoiced that both of them were in Heaven now, whole and well.

Arriving to June 4, 2022 means that I have traversed a difficult part of my walk-through grief in this first year. It wasn’t easy, but I am here, still walking, still moving forward with a fresh awareness of God’s grace in my life, a deeper appreciation for the love and commitment of this incredible community of people who are with me on this journey, new friendships that were established this week as I stepped out of my comfort zone, and a sense of purpose and destiny that lies ahead as I continue to follow Jesus on this journey.

There is still a lifetime of days, dates and special events to navigate, I will take them one by one as they come.

For my friends on this journey, you can do it too! It won’t be easy, let the tears flow, do what you need to do as you navigate the emotions and days, but take care of yourself and keep moving forward, you have got this!!!

For our friends journeying with us, keep being there for us. You don’t know what we need, we don’t know what we need either, but knowing there are people who love us and care for us is vital as we all continue this walk-through grief.

As always, with much love and appreciation!!!

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